From: Julia, Brighton.
Dear Paul Jenner
I enjoyed your book Get Intimate with Tantric Sex very much, but as a woman in a long-term and happy relationship I am finding adapting to some of your suggestions rather hard.
I appreciate that, for instance, non-ejaculatory sex is a great thing in terms of frequency of intercourse (especially in couples of that certain age and above!) but I miss the spontaneity of mutual orgasm. For me the enjoyment of what I will call ‘normal’ sex is the mounting excitement, the occasional pull-backs and then the full-on coming as a crescendo, just like that crashing wave we always see on coy film sex scenes. When I know the session is going to be (barring accidents) non-ejaculatory it sort of lacks impetus and form. We have to eventually come to a verbal agreement that the session should end. I find this difficult as despite the fact I may have had several orgasms I am never quite sure of the best timing as far as my partner is concerned.
Any suggestions?