What can a man do if his erection suddenly fades away during sex? The most important thing is not to get anxious. It’s most likely to happen in a woman-on-top position due to the effect of gravity. So the first thing to do is separate and simply relax. Anxiety is the enemy of erection. Reflect that women, too, often ‘lose erection’ but it just isn’t so noticeable. So your partner will understand.

When you feel calm, try stimulating yourself – you’re the best one to do it. Hopefully you’re perfectly open with one another about masturbation and can do this in front of your partner without feeling guilty – otherwise it just won’t work. If you’re not used to masturbating together then that’s something you need to work on. Saliva is a readily-available lubricant but there are commercial ones that are better – so that’s something else to investigate, if you’re not already using lubricants. Just focus your mind on the underside of the glans (the most sensitive spot) and gently stroke it with your lubricated fingers. You’ll soon know whether or not it’s working.

If you’re not responsive it could be that something about the ‘atmosphere’ is affecting you at the unconscious level. Have there been some disturbing noises from outside? Is the music all right? Sometimes the wrong kind of music can put you off. Is the light too bright? Too dark for you to be visually stimulated?

The scent of a woman’s vagina is an especially powerful aphrodisiac, so giving her a little more oral may help. The effect will be magnified if she recounts your favourite fantasy at the same time.

If your erection returns, resume lovemaking in an ‘easy’ position (in which gravity is a help rather than a hindrance). If not, you can still caress and cuddle one another, and, of course, you can still give your partner orgasms with your fingers and tongue. How to deal with a slightly more intractable erection problem is something I’ll blog about another time.