Heard Victoria Coren on the radio the other day. The daughter of the late humorist Alan Coren, her two claims to fame are that she’s a top poker player (about which she wrote a book called For Richer, For Poorer) and, secondly, that she and Charlie Skelton once tried to make a porn film (about which she wrote a book, together with Charlie, called Once More With Feeling). So I ordered a copy of Once More With Feeling via Amazon, it arrived very quickly, and I’ve just finished reading it.
It’s quite funny but I was more interested in the serious bits, such as the interviews with American porn people and the practical problems of actually making a porn film. Most fascinating of all was the realisation that what Victoria and Charlie thought was arousing was, generally, quite different to what I think is arousing.
That set me thinking about making my own porn film. Not something for public consumption but just for my partner and I. Well, more for me, probably, but starring the two of us. Nowadays, with these little digital video cameras it’s so easy.
One scenario I quite like is setting off for a lake not far away. It’s hot. We exchange meaningful glances. We strip naked and swim to the far side which is fairly inaccessible. There we exchange more meaningful glances. We find a secluded spot among the trees on a little rise overlooking the lake and there we have Tantric Sex. (Tantric Sex is really wonderful out of doors in a beautiful place, day or night.)
By the way, if you’re not sure how to go about things when you haven’t got a comfortable bed or sofa you’ll find some great out-of-doors positions in my books Get Intimate With Tantric Sex and Â Have Great Sex (both published by Teach Yourself).
I’ll let you know how the filming progresses. Meanwhile, maybe you’d like to share your own scenarios with us by using the Comments box or sending me an email. Let us know what would turn you on. Just a brief outline. Maximum 60 words, please. You can be anonymous, if you wish, but I’ll be giving a free copy of my book Kama Sutra to the scriptwriter whom I consider the best – and who was bold enough to supply a name and email/snail mail address.
A great deal of fiction nowadays surrounds Tantric sex. The problem is that Tantra was not founded by any single person and has never had any sort of ruling body to define its beliefs, so its teachings have varied from century to century, place to place, and guru to guru. Quite frankly, there are lots of self-proclaimed Tantric gurus out there writing books and running courses that have little or nothing to do with the real thing. If you go on such a course you may have a great time and learn new things. That’s fine. But authentic Tantric sex is a lot more than staring into eyes and lighting incense.
What makes Tantric sex different is not its range of physical sexual techniques (potent though they are) but its range of psychological techniques and the intention behind the sex. The prolonged state of excitement which Tantric sex is capable of creating is only a beginning. It’s aim is the attainment of a quite extraordinary state of mind known as ananda or bliss.
Thanks to everyone who sent in dating ideas – copies of my Kama Sutra are on their way. I spent the Easter holiday incorporating the suggestions into the new book. I couldn’t use everything so I thought I’d share with you hereÂ a coupleÂ that were left out.
Scarlet emailed to say that when she’s out for the evening she’ll anounce to a group of men that she needs someone to look after her Pill for her and remind her when it’s time to take it. The result is a sort of feeding frenzy as the guys jostle to be the chosen one.Â She says it never fails.
A woman friend of a woman friend this week asked me what I ‘do’ and, as usual, I replied: ‘Write about Tantric sex.’ There are other subjects I could mention but Tantric sex is my most special of specialities and, anyway, I like to see what reaction I get.
‘Ah, yes,’ she said, not at all rattled. ‘Making love for a long time.’
This is one of the commonest misconceptions about Tantric sex. Another is that lighting candles, burning incense and being especially nice to one another amounts to Tantric sex. None of this is correct.
Tantric sex is about using sexual energy for spiritual purposes.
If you don’t have a spiritual aim then it isn’t Tantric sex, no matter what techniques you employ.
The point about lengthy sex is that it enables the sexual energy to build to extraordinary levels. But you still have to use that energy in the right way.
Wanking has a very bad name. Just about everybody does it and yet most people would sooner admit to doing drugs. For those of you who feel embarrassed I have a solution. From now on simply consider it as practising.