I’ve just come back from my first ever surfing holiday. It was an awesome experience. It also set me thinking about the different attitude most of us have to sex compared with just about any other activity. (Have you noticed how many sensual things begin with an ‘S’? Sex, obviously, but also sunbathing, sand, sea, sailing, surfing, snowboarding, skiing… )
For surfing I had a lesson, bought a book, bought a DVD, discussed equipment with the owner of the surf shop, chatted with experienced surfers, watched experienced surfers, and practised the key moves (like the ‘pop up’) again and again on dry land before trying the real thing. And I surfed every day except one when there was a storm. I didn’t wait until I felt desperate. I just did it.
That’s normal for a hobby so why isn’t it normal for sex? Why can’t we be just as open about this thing that just about everybody does? Why do so many wait until they’re ‘gagging for it’ to have sex? Why is it considered a bit kinky to buy sex books, watch sex films, buy sex toys, or discuss techniques with other people?
I think we should all treat sex more like a hobby. I’ll be continuing to practise the pop up even when there’s no surf. And I’ll be continuing to learn about and practise sex techniques, too.
If you’d like to discuss sex techniques with me and with readers of my blogs just say what you’re thinking in the Comments box. Go ahead. Why not! (You don’t have to give your name.)
According to some research I’ve just been reading (for my book on personality), money spent on nice experiences produces more happiness than money spent on material goods. The pleasure in objects fades as we get used to them but the pleasure of a nice experience goes on for years as we recall the memories.
I certainly go along with that. I’d much rather spend money on a snowboarding trip than on a three-piece suite. And, fortunately, my partner feels the same. My personal theory has long been that it’s important to have not just nice experiences but powerful nice experiences otherwise they won’t be adequately seared into the memory and too easily become lost. On that basis, my decision to have a crack at surfing between books was a good one. Things like trying to stand up on a wobbly plank, falling off said plank, and being pounded on the head by said plank all make for vivid memories. And, it was nice, too.
Use the Comment box to let us know what you think. Euro for euro, pound for pound or dollar for dollar, what produces the most happiness? A nice object or a nice experience?
People sometimes tell me that I’m ‘obsessed’ by sex. It’s always meant as a criticism. Well, I’ve been thinking about this word ‘obsessed’ and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the right way to be.
I see my greatest fault as never having being obsessed enough with certain things. If you’re not obsessed, you’ll never be really good. So I intend to put that right. Yesterday I finished the book on dating and as a reward I’ve decided to spend a couple of days being totally obsessed by s…s…surfing.