Tag: NLP

NLP Isn’t Always The Solution

I’ve had an email from someone who has a problem with public speaking. Over the years she’s become more and more terrified until she’s reached the point where she just can’t do it any more. Normally I would suggest NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) or hypnosis or self-hypnosis. But this woman has tried those things and just about everything else that’s going.

A standard NLP┬ámethod is to visualize a scene in which you succeed in doing what you’re afraid of. The problem with that approach is that when you’re┬áreally terrified of something it can completely hijack your visualization. In other words, you can’t even imagine yourself succeeding. Each time you try you only ever see yourself failing. As a result, your fear increases.

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Beat Negativity

Yesterday a parcel arrived from my most important publisher. That’s Hodder Education. Inside were six copies of my latest book Beat Negativity With CBT. It’s always a nice moment when you see one of your books in the flesh, as it were, for the first time. It’s only a short book with lots of easy to assimilate bullet points (which is why it’s called a Bullet Guide) but, if I say so myself, it’s packed with solid advice about how to use CBT to become happier and more positive.

CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. The behavioural part is based on the idea that you can overcome, for example, irrational fears or compulsions through a gradual process of desensitization. The cognitive part is based on the insight that your thoughts create your feelings. Stop thinking negative thoughts, permit only positive thoughts, and you’ll be happier.

They sound simple ideas and they are (which is why I sometimes get angry emails from people telling me I’m not taking their problems seriously). But the fact is that they work.

Here’s something you can test. You’ll need a handy way of keeping a count. Could be one of those clickers, could be a notebook, could just be a bare arm you can mark with a biro. Each time you notice yourself having a negative thought, note it. Then stop it and replace the negative thought with a positive thought. At the end of the day total up the number of negative thoughts. Resolve that the next day you’ll have less of them. Keep it up for a week. If you’ve done it conscientiously, the frequency of negative thoughts will be well down by the end of the week and you’ll feel happier. (If you’re not, you can send me an angry email.)

By the way, you can use the ‘Look Inside’ facility on Amazon to get a better idea of the book – you might even want to buy it. If you want something more detailed try Transform Your Life With NLP.