Tag: clitoris

What Turns Women On?

A question I often get asked by men is, ‘What turns women on?’. I can only know what women tell me, of course. And what I read in research papers. Generally, guys, it’s not rubbing her clitoris or anything like that. At least, not initially – that comes later.

Here are some of the things that, in a long term relationship, you can do to put your partner in the mood:

  • Wash the dishes
  • Help with the housework
  • Be supportive when she has worries
  • Show your appreciation for her.

If you were hoping for something more erotic then I’m sorry to disappoint you. And, of course, it’s no good doing the dishes only when you want sex. It’s not that washing plates is sexy in itself. It isn’t. The point is that when a woman feels valued, loved and cared-for, so she feels the desire to welcome you into her body. That means showing your appreciation all the time. Which, as it happens, is also the recipe for a happy relationship. So what’s not to like?

Ladies, I’d like to hear from you as to what turns you on. Please click on the word ‘comment’ at the top of this article.


From: AH Dundee.

Dear Mr Jenner

I always try and satisfy my partner when having sex but I just don’t like it when he licks my privates. I thinks it’s dirty and not normal. Many men seem to think they have got the right to go down there between my legs and I don’t agree. It has caused many rows. I can’t understand it.  I thought licking a woman out was for her enjoyment so if I don’t enjoy it why are some men so insistent? Do men get a sexual kick out of it as well? I’d much rather go straight into proper fucking. Am I abnormal? Do most women like it?  What should I do?


Dear AH,

Cunnilingus (licking the vulva) is certainly not ‘dirty’ and it’s certainly not abnormal. Even back in Kinsey’s day (the 1940s/50s) over half of married couples sometimes did it and most women would probably like more of it, not less. Adding something like whipped cream to the area is quite popular (see photo). Of course, it’s your body and you don’t have to be licked if you don’t want to be. Certainly there are plenty of men who feel, like you, that they’d rather get straight down to ‘proper fucking’. If you don’t already, I’d suggest you explore the possible sensations on your own, using your lubricated fingers on your vulva, and especially on your clitoris. If you can overcome your inhibitions I’m pretty certain you’ll enjoy everything about it.

 Best wishes, Paul