Category: Welcome to the Home of Happiness

Welcome to my website. I hope you’ll find plenty here to help you get the most out of your life. I’m the author of more than 30 books including How To Be Happier, Have Great Sex, Transform Your Life With NLP, Get Intimate With Tantric Sex, Help Yourself To Live Longer and the ebook Secrets Of The Kama Sutra.

Does Happiness Come From Things Or Experiences?

According to some research I’ve just been reading (for my book on personality), money spent on nice experiences produces more happiness than money spent on material goods. The pleasure in objects fades as we get used to them but the pleasure of a nice experience goes on for years as we recall the memories.

I certainly go along with that. I’d much rather spend money on a snowboarding trip than on a three-piece suite. And, fortunately, my partner feels the same. My personal theory has long been that it’s important to have not just nice experiences but powerful nice experiences otherwise they won’t be adequately seared into the memory and too easily become lost. On that basis, my decision to have a crack at surfing between books was a good one. Things like trying to stand up on a wobbly plank, falling off said plank, and being pounded on the head by said plank all make for vivid memories. And, it was nice, too.

Use the Comment box to let us know what you think. Euro for euro, pound for pound or dollar for dollar, what produces the most happiness? A nice object or a nice experience?

Make Your Own (Tantric) Sex Film

Heard Victoria Coren on the radio the other day. The daughter of the late humorist Alan Coren, her two claims to fame are that she’s a top poker player (about which she wrote a book called For Richer, For Poorer) and, secondly, that she and Charlie Skelton once tried to make a porn film (about which she wrote a book, together with Charlie, called Once More With Feeling). So I ordered a copy of Once More With Feeling via Amazon, it arrived very quickly, and I’ve just finished reading it.

It’s quite funny but I was more interested in the serious bits, such as the interviews with American porn people and the practical problems of actually making a porn film. Most fascinating of all was the realisation that what Victoria and Charlie thought was arousing was, generally, quite different to what I think is arousing.

That set me thinking about making my own porn film. Not something for public consumption but just for my partner and I. Well, more for me, probably, but starring the two of us. Nowadays, with these little digital video cameras it’s so easy.

One scenario I quite like is setting off for a lake not far away. It’s hot. We exchange meaningful glances. We strip naked and swim to the far side which is fairly inaccessible. There we exchange more meaningful glances. We find a secluded spot among the trees on a little rise overlooking the lake and there we have Tantric Sex. (Tantric Sex is really wonderful out of doors in a beautiful place, day or night.)

By the way, if you’re not sure how to go about things when you haven’t got a comfortable bed or sofa you’ll find some great out-of-doors positions in my books Get Intimate With Tantric Sex and  Have Great Sex (both published by Teach Yourself).

I’ll let you know how the filming progresses. Meanwhile, maybe you’d like to share your own scenarios with us by using the Comments box or sending me an email. Let us know what would turn you on. Just a brief outline. Maximum 60 words, please. You can be anonymous, if you wish, but I’ll be giving a free copy of my book Kama Sutra to the scriptwriter whom I consider the best – and who was bold enough to supply a name and email/snail mail address.

The Great Wall Of Vagina

I blogged a little while ago about labiaplasty (or labioplasty) – that’s to say, reduction of a woman’s labia. Through Nicci Talbot’s website (see the blog below) I’ve now discovered The Great Wall Of Vagina project. The Brighton-based artist Jamie McCartney has spent five years making life casts of 400 vulvas. Women who fear they’re not normal can see what other women look like and how varied vulvas actually are. It’s well worth having a look at

the great wall of vagina

My point, as a man, is that the labia are part of a woman’s sexual apparatus. When engorged they effectively extend the vagina, caressing the penis as it moves in and out. Reduction, except in an extreme case, seems to me a very bad idea.

Returning to Jamie, you can have any part of your own body cast, if you want. I wish I’d known about him when my partner and I were renovating the mill in which we live. I wanted to have casts of our bodies on our respective walk-in wardrobes but couldn’t find a local artist who knew how to do it. Jamie is an expert. But if you can’t afford professional body casting, Jamie has a DIY vulva kit at a very reasonable price – presumably you could also use the materials on other body parts if you prefer.

Happiness In The Face Of Criticism

This morning I was checking my books on Amazon and noticed that How To Be Happier was by far the most reviewed, with 28 entries. So that has to tell me something. Most of the reviews were favourable, some of them extremely so, but I also seem to have reduced a couple of people to a state of near apoplexy. Far from being happier they were utterly enraged. And it’s quite instructive to look at why.

One criticism was that my book contained much the same advice as other books on happiness. Now, few people could be buying more ‘how to’ books than me. I have books on how to ski, snowboard, climb, ride, surf, dive, sail, have sex (two shelves) and all kinds of other things. And you know what? All the books on, say, snowboarding, give me the same advice. So far, not one of the books has suggested I should strap the board to my head rather than my feet. I find it reassuring that all the experts are agreed on that point.

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Obsession, Sex And Surfing

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People sometimes tell me that I’m ‘obsessed’ by sex. It’s always meant as a criticism. Well, I’ve been thinking about this word ‘obsessed’ and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the right way to be.

I see my greatest fault as never having being obsessed enough with certain things. If you’re not obsessed, you’ll never be really good. So I intend to put that right. Yesterday I finished the book on dating and as a reward I’ve decided to spend a couple of days being totally obsessed by s…s…surfing.

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My Tantric Sex Present For William And Kate

I find it extraordinary that so many people are excited by the wedding of two people they’ve never met and never will meet. Why are so many people living so vicariously? I would suggest they get a copy of my book How To Be Happier and start enjoying their own lives.

The challenge for William and Kate is the same that faces most modern couples – how to make the wedding night particularly special, given that they’ve been living together. Not easy for anybody following the rigours of a wedding. In fact, I’d advise anybody getting married to have sex first thing in the morning, rather than after the celebrations when too much champagne has been drunk. A large quantity of alcohol beforehand doesn’t make for great sex – but a small quantity afterwards prolongs the dopamine hit very nicely.

So my suggestion for a really memorable wedding night would be to get started on Tantric sex. In fact, I can reveal that I’ve sent the happy couple a copy of my book Get Intimate With Tantric Sex and I like to think of them sitting up in bed together, reading it and trying out one or two of the more advanced techniques. One specific piece of advice. They should take their crowns off. They do get in the way.

Never mind about princes and princesses. In Tantra every woman is a goddess and every man is a god. Now that’s my idea of democracy. If you’d like to understand Tantric sex better click on the Tantric Sex button and then select Gods And Goddesses.

Thanks For The Dating Tips

Thanks to everyone who sent in dating ideas – copies of my Kama Sutra are on their way. I spent the Easter holiday incorporating the suggestions into the new book. I couldn’t use everything so I thought I’d share with you here a couple that were left out.

Scarlet emailed to say that when she’s out for the evening she’ll anounce to a group of men that she needs someone to look after her Pill for her and remind her when it’s time to take it. The result is a sort of feeding frenzy as the guys jostle to be the chosen one. She says it never fails.

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Kama Sutra

My Teach Yourself book about the Kama Sutra is no longer in print but I’ll be making it available as an ebook on this website very soon as Secrets Of The Kama Sutra. It will be slightly longer than the original and with some improvements. But I have a problem. I don’t have any illustrations for it. So I’m inviting all of you to send your own digital photos illustrating one or more positions of the Kama Sutra. There are actually 21 authentic positions and they’re not all difficult or acrobatic by any means. You can dress up a bit Indian-style, if you wish, or you can be completely naked. You can show your faces or you can conceal them. It’s all up to you. Use the contact form to email me and attach your images. By sending me a digital image you are agreeing that I can post it on this site to accompany the text of Secrets Of The Kama Sutra. And you must both be in agreement. Unless you say otherwise I’ll assume you’ll prefer to be anonymous.To read descriptions of the 21 authentic positions click on Positions.

By  the way, I still have some copies of the paperback Teach Yourself Kama Sutra. If you’d like one you can buy it by clicking on the button on the left-hand side of the page.

Women On Top

Two good things and one bad thing happened just before Easter. Firstly, I was offered a ‘three-book deal’. Admittedly, the books will be quite short, but, even so, ‘three-book deal’ sounds rather impressive. Delivery 2012. Naturally, I accepted.

The second good thing was that my partner arrived back from the UK and we lost very little time in getting at it. All was going well in various positions until we switched to woman-on-top. I have a friend who hates a woman to get on top. He’s Catalan and Catalan men have some rather old-fashioned ideas. I, on the other hand, find those positions very exciting. The whole psychology is changed. But this time gravity was suddenly too much of an impediment. That was the bad thing. I felt the blood draining away and my confidence quickly followed. A little bit too much practising, maybe (see previous entry). For some advice on this click on Erection Problems in the Sex For Boomers section.

Happiness, Stock Markets And Labia

This week saw the launch of Action For Happiness, which has as one of its big ideas that happiness comes from helping others. I certainly agree with that. It was one of my big ideas, too, in How To Be Happier (Teach Yourself). Cynics are asking how it’s possible to judge happiness. Well, I have a way. It’s called the stock market.

It works like this. If you can invest money on the stock market and not go crazy then you surely must be not only a happy person but one whose happiness has very solid foundations. My partner had a little bit of money to play with and so we decided we’d have a go on the stock market. Anything to supplement a writer’s income!

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